Confessions Of A Twin Flame Runner

I first met my Twin Flame over 2 years ago, quite accidentally. But, it wasn't an accident now, was it? Everything was planned for our meeting.

Immediately, we were transported to a romantic love that we both never knew we could feel. It felt amazing. Nothing like I had ever felt before.

It all seemed lovely. But this is a Twin Flame journey. A Divine mission. There is always some catch designed for both twins to learn through it.

My twin has his own family. And why shouldn't he? I didn't arrive in his life much later.

But, now what?! Here was this Kismet Connection. My perfect twin. The Divine Masculine to my Divine Feminine. And I can't have him??? Why???

And we set this up like this before we incarnated? You have got to be kidding me!

Mind you, I had been on the spiritual journey already. I had been guided for many years to read up and research on Twin Flames since 2012.

I wasn't really aware that this was a Twin Flame journey until I started RUNNING from him!!! Then it started to make sense.

In all my research and reading on Twin Flames, we were fitting the Twin Flame stages that myself and him were displaying. The Bubble Love phase then the Havoc phase where we just can't seem to get it right! And I was shutting down all communication because I wasn't getting what I want from him.

The Twin Flame information that I am referring to is by Mel and Nicole of Gold Ray Twin Flames on YouTube. I trust their knowledge as they have been together for a long a time. I love Mel's direct and no nonsense approach to the whole thing.

That it is not about the romance, it is about the mission!

I prayed and asked for Divine Guidance as to whether this was a Twin Flame journey we were on. Signs started showing up and resonating with me. Oh boy, I didn't ask for this. Did I?

Every time I would go away, he would pull me back somehow. It was almost like the Universe did not want us to be apart. But what kind of a cruel joke was the Universe playing on me?'s painful knowing that the person you love is right there and you can't have them. It's painful knowing it is selfish asking them to choose you or their already happy life with family. It is painful knowing that your twin does not want to do anything at all...

Now, this is not a blame game. This was what I was feeling. I was being massively triggered and my wounds ran deep. The limited knowledge of understanding and processing the fear and pain, made me shut down. It was just to painful to bear...

But every time I ran and shut down from him, I learned powerful spiritual lessons during my time away from him. My best work would show itself. The topics I would blog on or make videos with would resonate with tons of people and my life flourished as a result.

I started realising this after separating from him on the 2nd time. And true enough, many Twin Flame mentors validated this spiritual growth that takes place during separation. The separation is a phase that all Twin Flames go through on some level to learn some very hard lessons on their own. And I did.

So, what I am about to share with you are the reasons Why I Ran and the Healing that took place because of it. This blog is Divinely guided because my Guides want me to share my experience as a former Twin Flame Runner. That we are not always the bad guys. That it is not easy for us too. That there is a purpose behind it. That sometimes, we are not in control and we have no idea why we run. That we want to take responsibility for our actions. I certainly am.

Why I Ran #1

- It was just too painful. Why? Because I felt rejected. The pain was too great. I felt rejected by the one person who claims to love me with all his heart. He does not want me in his life. Not the way I want us to be together. And from what I had learned about Boundaries, why would I let someone in who doesn't want me? I shut down from him.

The healing that has taken place from this:

I am currently healing all root causes of rejection within me. Your Twin is your Mirror. He or She will show you what you need to heal within to become Whole again. In this case, I was seeking him to make me Whole. But we are already perfect, whole and complete. I had to accept that for myself and I now have indeed.

A meditation was given to me by Divine Guides to keep my vibrations high and to ground me during this period. It is called the Energy Purifying Meditation. It has really helped to clear and transmute all negativity between my Twin and I. It gives me clarity and peace.

Why I Ran #2

The first couple of times I stopped talking was because I was being influenced by good friends who had my best interest at heart. 'He has a family. Why would he want you? You are not a priority. He doesn't want you, you are wasting your time'.

I loved them for it.

This was coupled with the fact that I was riddled with extreme guilt that there was already a woman in his life. I had no right to come into another woman's life. It was not right. I shut down from him.

The healing that has taken place from this:

My friends were right. Why should I waste time with someone who doesn't want me? He already has someone. I started creating Healthy Boundaries around this. With friends, family and people I met. I developed a better self esteem with my Healthy Boundaries and I noticed I valued myself more on this journey. My self worth has been growing consistently and I do owe it to the Twin Flame journey.

Why I Ran #3

We were in a good place. Communicating well and I felt pretty confident that this journey would be fine. We had been communicating for months. I was still in my 3D stage of wanting my own life with him and believe me I was working so hard towards that. It was my Wounded Self showing up in our conversations, the push and pull of wanting to be with each other but 'can't be with each other'. Honestly, I do believe we were trying our best to just be friends. Then my family wanted to introduce me to some single eligible bachelors because that's what families do! My Twin did not do anything except wish me the best as he didn't want to be selfish in standing in my way of 'happiness'. I could have strangled him at the time!!! Couldn't he see that my happiness was with him?! Where was this coming from? You see, again, I was being 3D where I was tying my happiness to my Twin. I painfully threw him out from my life. This one was terrible pain...

The healing that has taken place from this:

What was I being shown here? Yes, he didn't want to stand in the way of my happiness of having a life partner or marriage for that matter. It was the right thing to do. But why was I not seeing it? Because I had tied my happiness with my Twin. That he was my be all and end all. And that is simply not the truth on a Twin Flame journey. Also, I was desperately wanting him to be the man I wanted and deserved. But he simply was not it. I had to painfully detach from him only to realise I had placed an expectation that he was THE ONE! Just because he was my Twin Flame? Doesn't mean anything.

I deserved a life partner who wanted to be there for me and to build a life with me. And for the very first time in my life, I was willing to accept that it may or may not be my Twin. That it can be someone else. I was willing to wait for that someone else.

Why I Ran #4

After a painful separation, we did try to communicate again. This time, I just wasn't up to his normal hi or hello. He was still very 3D and I had shifted tremendously. And at this time, I only wanted to be with people who were my tribe. My Twin was sadly not my tribe. I just did not want to have anything to do with him, period. I had developed on this Twin Flame journey and sadly he was just the same. Honestly, this was not going anywhere. I politely said, let's just not talk to each other much to his dismay. I felt there was no point. I just wanted peace.

The healing that has taken place from this:

I grew leaps and bounds. My Divine Life Purpose unfolded completely because I became vibrationally very high, receiving all the information that was needed to create and sustain my mission here on earth. I started realising that I am living life without him. It has been the case from day one. And if this was what the Universe wanted at this time, so be it. I wanted to be happy and I was. I was living my purpose, expanding my creative abilities, and now birthing the Awakening Woman movement worldwide.

This was the last time I ran. And yet again, my Twin comes back with just a little text. However, this time it feels different. I believe I am in the Surrender phase of this journey. I can't bothered honestly with what happens now.

I have to take care of myself. I have a mission to fulfill. I would like to create my little piece of heaven on earth. And if it means me doing this alone, without my twin, then it will be so.

What will my journey be next? I don't know. But I love myself for the Woman I have BECOME because my Twin was the way he was. I love him unconditionally now. He is just a person who is also on his journey. Whether he wakes up to our Union, I honestly do not know. Let that be his journey.

Right now, I have a planet to save.

Karishma Gill - Lightwarrior

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